Social scientists, support groups, and academic surveys point out that emotional disorders, behavioral problems, insecurity, and depression are much higher in general among children of single parent families. How can you protect your children?
By James Walsh
Social scientists, support groups, and academic surveys point out that emotional disorders, behavioral problems, insecurity, and depression are much higher in general among children of single parent families.
The definition of the 'single parent' has also undergone a big change. In the early days, when divorce was less common, a single mother would be a woman who had a child because of her wild youth, and the child suffered because she did not take enough care of her offspring, thanks to her reckless lifestyle.
A single parent now is a person who is not that young any more, has had a divorce, and is trying to balance work and home with difficulty, but has the best interests of the child at heart. An Office of National Statistics (ONS) survey has observed that single parents may go without food to provide for their children. However, despite our best intentions and our natural human instincts to protect and nourish our children, they may still suffer because of a divorce.
Common Emotional and Physical Effects of Divorce on Children
If one goes through the survey reports and the analyses by various groups, certain common and recurrent factors will be noticed. Below is a list of such physical and emotional effects on children as commonly found in a post-divorce scenario.
Abuse: Sad but true, there are many adults who take out their anger at each other on their hapless children who are unable to protect themselves from the people who are supposed to be their natural protectors and guardians. Cases of both physical and mental abuse are common among single parents irrespective of gender, and children of couples who are cohabiting post-divorce seem to be the worst sufferers. It is a misconception that the stepfather is the lead figure in such abuse; in fact, the biological mother has often committed acts of stunning physical violence against young children, who cannot even express themselves properly.
Malnutrition: This is a direct fall-out of a sudden slump in economic stability. It is sometimes difficult for the single parent to provide the child with the correct food that has the nutritional value required by a growing child. Protein deficiency syndromes at an early age may lead to chronic problems, and can affect the child for the rest of his or her lifetime.
Depression: This is so common that it is almost a universal phenomenon. It is shown through eating disorders, sleeping disorders, dropping out of school, or a sudden disinterest in studies, withdrawal from normal activities, turning suddenly introvert and developing a sense of self-blame. Children want to know exactly why things went wrong, and if they cannot pinpoint the cause of their parent's problems, they put the blame on themselves.
Peer Group Behavior and Criminal Tendencies: Forms of juvenile delinquency like brawling, gang warfare, breaking and dirtying property, disturbing the peace, drinking, drug and substance abuse, petty crimes - are often the reaction against something that the child hates - but cannot change. Here too, the child is deeply insecure, and is usually trying to locate a surrogate family structure within peer groups or gangs.
Steps that Should be Taken
There are certain steps that parents can take to tide over these times.
Ensure that the child has no reason to blame himself or herself for the divorce. Talk it out and take pains to explain that this is a matter between two adults. Their best intentions to remain together for life have failed.
Do not take out your grief by shouting at or hitting the child. Do not taunt him or her because you feel that you have failed in your duties as a spouse, parent, and person.
Go to a counselor for help, if that is required.
Do not turn your child into a spy for your spouse.
About the Author:
James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you want to find out more about a solicitor-managed divorce see www.managed-divorce.co.uk. Article Source: 1st Rate Articles - http://1stRateArticles.com
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