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Viewing Poodles are not Dogs!Poodles are not Dogs!
By red46r
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Poodles know too much to be called a dog. Although they are classified as dogs, the only true resemblance I see is the four legs. That and floppy ears, maybe - and they do sound like a dog, now and then. Poodles are strange creatures. Although they are classified as dogs, the only true resemblance I see is the four legs. That and floppy ears, maybe - and they do sound like a dog, now and then. Aside from that, there must have been a branching off of the gene pool somewhere along the line. My mother, rest her soul, fell in love with poodles when I was just a teen. It all started when one day at the pet shop. The shop owner, who just happened to also be a personal friend, opened the cage of tiny little black puff balls. One of them scampered to my mother's foot and refused to budge. While the other puppies scampered around excitedly, this one clung to her foot, as though it were a tiny island and she would drown if she jumped off. You know, of course, we didn't leave that little puppy behind. Of course! I mean, naturally this had to come into our lives. We had never owned a poodle before and had no idea what we were in for. Did you know poodles are schemers? Well, if you own one you sure do. I wish someone had warned us, at the time. This was no dog! When I started beauty school, mother decided it sounded like fun and joined me. That meant we would both be away from the house 8 hours a day. Babette (the poodle) repaid us by dragging mother's girdle off the bed and onto the table sitting right in front of the big picture window, at the front of the house. I hate to mention what it was she took to dragging out of the bathroom trash, when her first scheme seemed to fail at teaching us a lesson. You probably already know that you don't leave the poodle at home or the kennel and take off for a family vacation. We made the mistake of thinking our little darling would appreciate a trip to south Texas, for Christmas. My grandparents were farmers and hardly saw a dog, of any kind, as an indoor pet. Babs showed her own appreciation by pooping on the floor just behind Grandpa's chair - every single morning. One of the first things you learn about poodles, is that on grooming day the whole family must noisily adore her. She was as bad as any whimpering woman after having her hair done, if nobody noticed. That crazy 'dog' would moan and groan and drag around the house like her best friend had just died. She was one of those 'suffer in silence' ones? Well, silence if you don't count the grunts from the suddenly hard work to jump up into your lap, or the droopy wet eyes, you'd swear were tearing. On the other hand, if we obediently acted amazed and swooned over her beauty, she pranced around the house like a rabbit and spent hours admiring herself in front of the floor length mirror. I could send that crazy animal into frenzy just by pretending that I was sniffing her and then pretending she smelled bad. She would spend the longest time cleaning and cleaning until I thought her little behind would fall off. One night, my sister and I laughed so hard that tears were running down our cheeks, when we tried a whole new trick on her. With every step the dog made, I made a farting noise with my cheeks. Each time, she would stop and smell her own tail and then sit down. Time after time, we had that crazy critter sitting down. It took her an hour to cross the room. The problem with poodles is that they don't seem to understand dimensions. Be very careful about buying a standard sized poodle. They think they are about the size of a miniature and will jump into your lap, expecting a great love fest. Never let a poodle wander around the car while you drive in heavy traffic. When you least expect it, the critter will jump into your lap, lose balance, and fall onto your feet. My mother was nuts. She had one of those little car seats especially built for small dogs. My father once said, 'I'm grateful they don't paint poodles on battle ships.' Leave a poodle waiting in the car only when you don't mind every passerby thinking the dog is having convulsions. Never let a poodle get its first taste of chocolate. It's addictive and detrimental to their health - and they will find unique ways of talking you out of more. It goes straight to their middle and stays. My folks found out early that we had an alcoholic dog. Big mistake. If you are in the market for a 'dog', get a Pomeranian or a German shepherd or something. Poodles are crazy. What's worse, they're smart. They start out life that way. My mother got into breeding those creatures. There was a litter of 6, about 4 months old, when the whole family wanted to go off on a vacation. I stayed behind to take care of the dogs. The litter was kept in a mesh playpen, just off the kitchen. Every morning, the big one (Bozo) climbed up the side and jumped. I woke up to a loud 'thud'. A few seconds later, I could hear the little toenails tapping across the kitchen floor and knew my night's sleep was over. Every morning, the same routine. I'd meet Bozo halfway down the hall, and grab him because I knew he was about to go peepee. Grab another puppy, on the way out through the garage to the backyard, where the puppies demolished the Irises. Then back and forth to the kitchen to grab two more puppies until they were all outside. Then I'd fix their breakfast and have it ready by the time they were done with their morning potty session. After breakfast, it was the reverse. Grab two puppies and run them back to the playpen. The problem was, there was a smart aleck in the bunch. When I finally figured out what he was up to, the morning scene's tempo was upbeat, as I tried to outwit that little demon. The middle puppy, the one I nicknamed 'Snotty nose', managed to sneak in behind me as I was carrying puppies back inside. Then he would hide under the playpen. When I dashed outside for another armload, he would tear off down the hall to the bedroom where he managed to go through 3 shoes, a pillow, and my world map before I managed to get him under control. Wouldn't you know it, Snotty Nose turned out to be the 'looker' of the bunch. Because of his manly appearance and his personality, I wanted to keep him. I did, for awhile, until he just got to be too much for the house. He was a holy terror and nobody could keep shoes. I finally gave him to a breeder. Cry. Poodles are quite a trip. For companionship, possessiveness, and love, you can't do better. Written by Judy Sims - http://judysbookshop.com/judy.htm Article Source: 1st Rate Articles - http://1stRateArticles.com |
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